Meet Grayson

Grayson is a 9-year-old boy who lives with his family, goes to school and does pretty much what other 9-year-old boys do. With one difference. 

Grayson LOVES My Little Pony. He loves them so much, that when he needed a new lunchbox and his mum took him to buy one, he chose a My Little Pony lunchbox. And his mum, being the incredible woman she is, said nothing about the gender bias of the show and bought him the lunchbox. 

This story should end here. But it doesn't. 

Because Grayson carried that lunchbox to school, kids at the school started to bully Grayson.  How did the school react?  They asked Grayson and his mum what they expected would happen if a boy brought a girls' lunchbox to school. They told Grayson to hide it in his schoolbag. Then they banned Grayson from bringing it to school at all. So, rather than deal with the bullies and put a stop to Grayson's torment, they laid blame on the victim. 

I told Squish about Grayson last night (Banana was upstairs sleeping - she wasn't feeling well) and told her he was being bullied because he had a My Little Pony lunch box and liked the show. Squish and Banana both like the show, too. Out of curiosity, I asked Squish, "what do you think of this?" Meaning both Grayson's love of My Little Pony and the bullying. 

Her response made me think I'm doing a good job with my girls. She said:

"That's dumb. People should be allowed to like what they like and bring whatever they want to school without being bullied. If he likes My Little Pony, who cares?  No one else should."  She meant that no one else should care if a boy likes a "girl's" show. 

I hugged her and she said she wanted to write Grayson a letter telling him he should be happy about who he is. And to let him know WE care and we are speaking out for him, and with him. 

We are behind you, Grayson. 

To the cashier at Metro

Thanks for the compliment that at least I "knew what was for dinner" when I was in last week picking up ingredients for that night's dinner.  We were talking about how I couldn't find a certain type of noodles and how your family (your siblings) are so picky. 

The thing is, I don't always know what's for dinner. Most of the time I get home from work and think "we have to be out the door for {insert program here} by 5:45. What the hell am I going to feed the kids?"

Funny thing is, I have a crock pot, a full fridge and freezer and pantry, tons of ingredients, a good imagination and access to a few really good apps for cooking. Yet most days, I can't figure out what to make. 

Often, we have leftovers available to eat. But my kids usually won't eat leftovers. They have to REALLY like what was for dinner the night (or two) before to deign to eat *gasp* reheated pre-cooked leftover food.  

I have a finite amount of time from Monday to Thursday to get food stuffed in their faces, homework done (or at least started), piano practiced, swimsuits, towels and karate uniforms located (still can't find Banana's karate belt. Let's hope she grades for her yellow and we won't have to look for her white one anymore), art supplies gathered, music binders collected and somewhere in there I have to manage to feed myself or get some housework done. Usually it's one or the other. 

I'm not complaining, and I didn't feel your  comment was insensitive. I just had to laugh a little because you thought I had it all put together, when in reality, I'd only picked the recipes a couple of hours earlier to complement the one dish I knew I was going to make. 

At least I can pull off the illusion of pre-planning. 

That said...

What am I going to make for dinner tonight before we run out the door for swim lessons?

My Niece

This is my niece. Don't you love that smile?  I love that smile. This is a happy kid, in general. 

But not always.  She can get very frustrated and angry. But we all can, can't we?  Sure. 

There was a time when this smile was somewhat hard to come by.  There was a time when I would come into her house and ask for a hug and get a very terse "NO!" and she would run away. (Ok, she was two at the time. I didn't think much of it).

Then there was the time, when she was about 18 months old, and we stayed over at my brother- and sister-in-law's for New Years and she woke us up crying.  Every. Single. Fucking. Hour. At 5, I was ready to get dressed and go home. Her parents were not impressed. With me. Who can blame them?  No one wants to hear that their family is frustrated by their child's nocturnal crying. Especially when they have been dealing with this pretty much her whole life. (Don't most kids sleep through the night by age One?  What is up,with this kid?)

Then there were the arguments at family gatherings in which my niece would cry and cry and cry and cry.  Pretty much a tantrum. At every meal.  In fact, the first picture I have of her, when she was a mere 2 days old, she's crying (ok, but she was only two days old at the time, but still...).  Not understanding what was going on, often we complained that we didn't want to listen to her tantrum during our meal.  I admit, we were not at all understanding of what my brother- and sister-in-law probably dealt with at home Every. Single. Day.

One thing they found out early on was that dairy seemed to be an issue. So, they eliminated dairy from my niece's diet. No milk, no cheese, no ice cream, no yogurt. As time has gone on, they've found what her limits seem to be and she is able to tolerate small amounts of dairy, usually if it's cooked. 

This also helped make radical changes to her behaviour. Mealtimes became far more pleasant. 

I will admit, I didn't always like my niece. But then, I didn't understand her. 

This past year, my sister-in-law pushed for more aggressive testing for my niece.  They went to several sleep studies where it was pretty much determined that she either doesn't secrete melatonin, the chemical responsible for our sleep-wake cycles, doesn't secrete enough or, if she is secreting melatonin, her body isn't using it effectively.  So, the doc prescribed melatonin for her to take before bedtime. I guess she's been on it nearly a year.  WHAT a difference!!! Once she started sleeping, her defiant behaviour changed and she stopped (for the most part) having tantrums. 

But something was still up. Socially, things were not good at school. Academically, she was struggling some in her French Immersion school.  She still seemed relatively happy, and my two years if unemployment allowed me more time to spend with her and her mom and sisters.  Honestly, the worst part of having time with my sister-in-law and nieces was that I wasn't working.

During the past two years, with all that extra time, I got to see my niece in a bit of a different light, and we started to forge a real relationship.

Then the results of the testing came back.

According to the testing done, my lovely, funny, sweet niece is on the Austism Spectrum and has ADHD.  

What does that mean to ME?  In terms of how I deal with my niece, absolutely nothing. She's my niece, I love her, and there is nothing anyone can do to change that. But it also means I question more.   I ask her mom what new ideas they've gotten from their support group. I ask her mom if a certain behaviour is part of her diagnosis, or just part of her.

But mostly, I ask for hugs.  And I get them.

2013 in Review

This is going to be a long post, I suspect.  I haven't really posted anything since school started for the girls, other than the post about the US Government shut-down.  So, sit back, relax.  Maybe get a snack and your favourite libation (alcoholic or otherwise) and enjoy.

2013 is over.  Crazy, huh?  I can't believe how fast this year went!!  So much happened, and yet, it was a relatively uneventful year.

It started out pretty innocuous.  We didn't go anywhere special for the first part of the year.  In March, we went to Florida for the break.  We had the apartment to ourselves, so it was nice.  Squish got to visit an American dentist and have a tooth (with an abscess underneath) extracted.  Thank Gd we had insurance.  We got it all reimbursed and the guy at the Target Pharmacy managed to find an insurance plan he could put her antibiotic through, thereby making the grand total for her entire script a whopping $6.

Squish at the Main Street Children's Dentist in Plantation, Flordia

In April we all learned about the Boston Marathon Bombing.  I still have no words to say, other than the fact that I am glad the perpetrators were caught.  The people who were severely injured and survived are a testament to the strength of the human spirit.  The people who ran an entire marathon and then ran to the nearest hospital to donate blood are heroes.  As are the 'common folk' who ran towards the smoke and fire and screaming and held people's arteries closed with their bare hands, worrying more about getting people to safety and getting them help than whether or not the person they were helping was "healthy".

May was Mother's Day where I received many wonderful gifts from my family.

June was June.  It was pretty quiet.  Banana had had her educational assessment, and we learned that she is super smart (we knew that already), but has a learning disability in that she has a poor working memory.  What that means is that she knows what she wants to say, and has the answer in her mind, but if you ask her to write it down, she loses all concept of punctuation, grammar and the like.  She scored between the 75th and 98th percentile in memory, vocabulary, reading comprehension and every language based test.  She scored low when she had to apply that knowledge.  So we waited for the psychological assessment to happen in  September to determine whether the rest of our instincts were going to pan out to anything.

After the big July flood, The Hubs and his twin brother went down
to the train station to bring snacks and water to the people being
shuttled from the stranded and flooded GO Train.

July the girls went to Ashreinu Day Camp, a Jewish Girl's day camp in the city.  They also turned 10!  We hit double digits and their Champagne birthday!!  We celebrated, of course, with champagne (ok, sparkly wine, but real wine).
We also had a huge flood (relatively speaking) in Toronto after a torrential rain storm.  One of the commuter trains - GO Transit train - got stuck on the tracks when the tracks started to flood.  Water came into the train and stranded all the passengers - about 1400 people.  My friend's husband was one of the passengers, and was going to be stranded at the Oriole station as that is where, when they started bringing people off the train by boat, buses were going to be taking the passengers.  The Hubs and his brother went to see if they could shuttle people stranded by the storm.  Since they couldn't get anyone from the train, they went to the station where the passengers were being shuttled and brought with them snacks (our entire snack bin full of the kids snacks - granola bars, rice krispie squares, etc) and fruit, as well as a case of bottled water, and handed it out to people getting off the train.  They were on the news!!  One of the passengers complained that there was nothing for them when they got off the train, and many were stuck on the train from about 4:00 until well after midnight by the time all the passengers were taken off the train.  This passenger did mention the "two young men" who were handing out bottles of water and snacks.  I'm very proud of the Hubs and his brother.

Getting our stuff onto the bus to camp!!

August was Banana and Squish's foray into the world of overnight camp.  They went for almost three weeks.  We had to pick them up early simply because my sister decided to get married!! LOL!!  Yup.

The Bride and Groom

 My baby sister decided it was time and she married an amazing guy.  My new brother-in-law, Avi, is sweet and funny.  I look forward to time spent with them always.
Just to add to her amazingness, my sister also received her Masters of Art from the University of Toronto in November.





September meant the beginning of another school year - Grade 5 for the twins this year!!  As always, they were in separate classes, so the chaos of finding their teachers was minimized only because we had only one grade to find.  Based on how chaotic it was on the first day, I can't imagine what people with kids in different grades felt like.  Let alone my friend with 4 kids in 4 different grades!!

At the end of September, I started a new job and while it's part-time, I love it.

Sometime between October and December (I really don't remember when) Banana had her psychological assessment and we were informed that she is ADHD-I  This means ADHD, Inattentive Type.  She's not hyper. She doesn't get up and move around the room, but she is easily distracted.  I kept up with her teachers to make sure she was getting on ok in class.

November was an early Chanukah and we celebrated with family.

December meant school break.  I chose not to take any time off during the holidays, so made arrangements to have the girls looked after during the days that I worked.  I did take one day off, and we went to Buffalo with my brother and sister in law and their kids.  It was a nice 5 day trip where we did some shopping and were successful in finding dresses for the girls to wear to a bat mitzvah we had in January.

And I think that pretty much sums up 2013.

We're a month into 2014, and I'll let that be another post.

Happy New Year!!!!

Hello, You've reached the United States Government. We are currently Closed.

Can you believe it?  The United States is CLOSED.  The government is on a shutdown. Why? Because the Republicans and the Democrats can't agree on the budget.  And next week, they have to debate on what to do about their $17 trillion - yes TRILLION dollar debt.  Do they ask other countries to borrow money to pay down their debt (thereby putting themselves further into debt), or do they default.  And what does that mean?  What happens if a government defaults on its loans? 
When governments default on debt, several negative effects are likely to follow. The reasons for the default usually stem from revenue shortfalls, and the effects can be both short and long term for government officials and taxpayers. They include higher costs to borrow money and a reduction in services for taxpayers.

Read more: http://www.ehow.com/info_7800623_happens-government-defaults-debt.html#ixzz2gV0Etikp

Doesn't sound so bad, does it?  Now think about it - you want to access a program for your child.  This program is funded by the government.  Your child has been identified as autistic and needs this therapy that you managed to find with government funding, thereby making it more affordable for you.  But guess what?  Because the government is bankrupt, they are no longer funding that service.  You either pay out of pocket, or you don't get that service.

Same goes for if you want to take a camping trip to a national park.  You can't go see Old Faithful right now, because Old Faithful is in a National Park and you can't get into one - they're all closed.  You can't go to the Grand Canyon, even if it's been your life's dream.  Because the Grand Canyon is a National Park and they're closed.

What does this mean for us Canucks?  Right now, not much.  We won't feel the pinch of this government shutdown immediately.  When will we feel it?  When exported product from the US is delayed because the shutdown has affected the US based business that would export.  When exported product from Canada is delayed because the shutdown has affected the US based business that would receive it. 

Our economy, in light of the global financial crises is pretty strong.  But it's not infalliable and it's not impenetrable.  We will likely feel the pinch from this US Government shutdown if it lasts too long.  The last time the US Government shut down was in 1996.  And that was only for 3 weeks.  If this shutdown lasts longer, the world may be in for some very tough times.

I think it's time that the world economy stopped relying on the American Dollar.

School Days, School Days...

So, school's been back in for just over three weeks.

Banana and Squish started Grade Five this year.  Where has the time gone?  My babies are tweens.  They're 10 years old and in GRADE FIVE?!  How did THAT happen?

So what has the past few months been like for us?

As mentioned in July, I had a minor procedure done and the pathology from that all came back nice and clean.  No cancer.  YAY!!  However, there is still the issue of the pre-cancerous cells on my cervix, which I am taking a Progesterone supplement for.  I go back to my doctor in November to see how that is progressing - by which we are hoping it is NOT progressing.

The girls spent July in a Jewish day camp called Ashreinu.  They had a good month in day camp, and were excited to go to the Ashreinu overnight camp for 17 days.  It was definitely strange not having the girls home at night for those just-over two weeks.  But 10 days after they left for camp, we had visitor's day and 7 days after that, we picked them up (two days early from the actual end of camp) for my sister's wedding.  So as weird as it was, it was a fast 17 days.

The highlight of our summer, of course, was my baby sister's wedding.  It was an absolutely beautiful affair.  My sister looked gorgeous, my parents were radiant, the groom - my new brother-in-law - was handsome (as ever - he's a real cutie!) and the girls were adorable in their matching flower-girl dresses. 

 My sister's new niece also marched and was absolutely adorable, too.  I am really happy for my parents, because not only have they gotten an intelligent and wonderful new son-in-law, but they have a wonderful relationship with his mother.  It's so nice to see, since their relationship with my own in-laws is essentially non-existent. 

So, after the wedding it was 2 weeks of relaxation, and getting ready for Grade Five.  Squish needed a new backpack and I got both girls new lunchboxes. 

The first day of school was a completely insane mess.  I don't understand why it has to be so difficult.  The first year, there was a desk in the playyard, you lined up and found your children's teachers by the person with the list.  Then you took your child to the line up for that teacher.

Last year it rained on the first day and that made it chaotic - parents were not allowed past the front entrance and children were to go to the gym to find out their teachers.  An email had gone out accidentally telling us who our children's teachers were.  I was very happy and they got (and kept) the teachers we accidentally found out they had. 

This year was almost like last year - except it was sunny and the chaos was in the entire schoolyard.  You couldn't get near anyone with a list, you couldn't find the pylons on the ground with the grade listed on it.  It was just stupid, crazy and insane.  But, finally, we got the girls squirrled away with their respective teachers and all seemed right with the world.  Both girls love their new teachers, and they have a new French teacher this year, so they are happy with that, too.

Funny thing is, two days after the beginning of the school year, it was Rosh Hashanah and Banana and Squish were off school for 4 days (2 days and the weekend).

We have figured out some new routines to make mornings easier, and to transition when we get home.  We also have a much busier year this year with after-school activities.

Here's our schedule:
Monday - Squish has piano at 7:30
Tuesday - Squish has math tutoring and singing lessons from 6-8.  Banana starts Karate on Oct 1.
Wednesday - Hebrew lessons
Thursday - Art lessons
Friday - thank goodness - a day off.
Saturday - Swimming lessons at 10:30 am starting in Oct.
Sunday - a day to ourselves.

Crazy, huh?  Add to that my last course (which I'm taking online), a new job (more on that another time), and just life in general. 

But, we'll make it work.  We always do.

How has your September been?

Double digits!

I find it hard to believe that my girls are ten years old.  I feel like it was just yesterday that I brought them home from the hospital.  

This year we did their friends party early so we'd have a greater likelihood of school friends attending.  Unfortunately I wasn't as organized as I thought and got the invites out late, so only a few school friends wound up attending. Honestly, it was fine.  We still had a dozen kids.

Also, we had to change our traditional Friday night family dinner to their actual birthday (today) because they have an overnight at camp on Friday night (it's a Jewish camp and they have a Shabbat program planned).

They have gotten some great gifts from friends and family. The Hubs' parents took them, along with their cousin, to see The Wizard of Oz onstage in April.  They loved that.  

From their parties, (friends and tonight's dinner) They got gift cards for iTunes, Old Navy, Indigo, toys r us, and Yogourty's, cash, and clothes. They also got The Great And Powerful Oz and Les Miserables on blu-ray. They were jumping for joy with those and can't wait to watch them.

For dinner, we had Caesar salad, steak with sauce and fried mushrooms, asparagus, kale chips and roasted potatoes.  And of course, birthday cake.

Because it was their champagne birthday, we also celebrated with - champagne.  We let the girls have a little champagne in the flutes we got for our wedding. The rest of us got plastic.  

So now, it's time to see what the double digits have in store for us.  

Happy Birthday, my beautiful girls!!